Quote The Hawk...2!
by The New Ultra Mike
Summary: Sequal to quote the Hawk. Expect more craziness then usual.
1. The Enimem Chronicles

Note: Here is the sequeal to the Animorphs fic that everyone loves. The topics don't belong to me, except a few. Remember to read and review.  
  
Quote The Hawk... 2  
  
(Scene: Crayak, Ellmist, Drode and Jake are around a table playing cards).  
  
Crayak: Weep and read em boys.  
  
Ellmist: What are you talking about?  
  
Crayak: The game, stupid.  
  
Ellmist: Just deal the cards, and don't call me boy.  
  
Crayak: Watch me now! (Does impressive dance while shuffiling cards and ends up giving each pllayer five cards). Now the name of the game is five card stud, boys.  
  
Ellmist: For the last time, stop calling me boy before I kick our butt.  
  
Crayak: You lost the last time we fought.  
  
Ellmist: That's because you threw me in a black hole.  
  
Crayak: Respect your elders, boy.  
  
Ellmist: Just shut up.  
  
Jake: I'm a boy, not a girl, just in case anyone is wondering.  
  
Drode: You all are idiots. (Gets beat up by Jake, Crayak and Ellmist). Now I understand Crayak and Ellmist, but how can jake defeat me?  
  
Jake: That's becuase I am the Simpreme Leader, haha!  
  
Ellmist: That is the last time we show him an alternative future, agreed?  
  
Crayak: I guess, but it is tempting to make a world where jake is a girl and Marco has a use to people.  
  
Ellmist: Let's just start the game.  
  
Crayak: Which is five card stud.  
  
Ellmist: We are playing bridge, not poker.  
  
Crayak: Oh yeah, but I forgot how.  
  
Ellmist: That's okay, I forgot to blow up planets (Fires a energy beam at Earth and Destroys it) I need to remember to remember to find out what I can do.  
  
Jake: Yeah, well Earth was not that important.  
  
Drode: It should be important to you, since it was the place you live.  
  
Ellmist: Maybe I can regenerate planets too. (Regenerates Earth). Do you think I should regenerate mars too?  
  
Drode: Nah, besides it blocks my view of Venus.  
  
Crayak: Wow, you're Marvin the Marshin? (Takes out autograph book) Sorry I was mean to you, but can you give me your autograph?  
  
Drode: Actually, he's only my cousin.  
  
Crayak: (Beats him with autograph book) That's for lying to others.  
  
Ellmist: Actually Crayak, you should ask for my autograph, since I have my own Chronicles and you don't.   
  
Crayak: Not for long, since the Crayak Chronicles will be coming out soon, so ask for my autograph.  
  
Ellmist: You know you have to talk to the author about that.  
  
Crayak: And do I will, and make her produce the best book script ever, written by me, Crayak (Holds up script) So there! (Teleports to K.A Apple gate's office, but teleports back) Forgot my script. (Grabs it and teleports to her house again).  
  
Ellmist: Why do you work for him again?  
  
Drode: I keep asking myself the same question everyday.  
  
Jake: Where the hell do you keep all the food?  
  
Ellmist: Don't know, why don't you just use your almost all magic power and make it reappear, like this? (Makes a ham appear outof nowhere).  
  
Jake: I'll try. (Tries, but nothing happens) I'm still hungry and now my almost all magic power is not working.  
  
Drode: You never had any, since your not an all powerful being-  
  
Ellmist: Or a fanfiction writer.  
  
Jake: But I am the Supreme leader, so there.  
  
Ellmist: Let's make brownies (Meanwhile, at the author's house, K.A is writing book 50).  
  
K.A: And so the one who dies this book is- (Crayak enters).  
  
Crayak: Forget that, I have the best script ever.  
  
K.A: Characters don't give ideas for books.  
  
Crayak: But it is the best idea ever.  
  
K.A: No.  
  
Crayak: How about I destroy your house?  
  
K.A: My powers are greaters then yours, remember you freak?  
  
Crayak: Just here me out.  
  
K.A: Fine, but only because I have no ideas left.  
  
Crayak: Then here it goes (When reading the event is actuallt happening). Once upon a time, I was a white kid in the Detroit hood of the 1980's, trying to make it as a sucessful rapper. I was pretty small, but I could kick any one's butt easily. Then I finally got a break when I met up with Dr Dre in a royal rumble. He let me join up with him and soon I became the First rapper to hit a millon records. Then I beacame onni-powerful and beat down the Ellmist to become the complete master of the Universe. The End  
  
K.A: There are several things wrong with that.  
  
Crayak: No there isn't! You lie, you're a lying girl!  
  
K.A: First off, that dosen't go with your profile at all.  
  
Crayak: The was me, so me it must be called me.  
  
K.A: You're over billons of years old.  
  
Crayak: But I don't look a day over 50, and that's because I use Crayak's Miracle age reduction. Yes folks, theonly thing you need to recapture thousands and millons of years of youth is to buy this stuff. Only 199.95 plus a free immagrant for the first three buyers.  
  
K.A: What are you trying to pull? That's just tap water.  
  
Crayak: Yeah, well that is the key to eternal youth.  
  
K.A: I'm not going to argue, since no one wins in conversations with idiots. You're second problem is you weren't even born on Earth.  
  
Crayak: Well, there are other Detroits then the one you have. Like the one on planet Gryues, where I met my seventh wife Fqaqq three billon years ago.  
  
K.A: Yeah, well Dr. Dre never went to that Detroit.  
  
Crayak: That's not true, there could be a way he could of . Like you even know anything about technology. Human have laser beams and a secret colony and mobile dolls up in space that you never heard of (This is true, I have the proof).  
  
K.A: Whatever, but you are a big red eye who weighs about 7,000,000 pounds at least.  
  
Crayak: I use slimfast, the freshmaker.  
  
K.A: That's Mentos, dumbass.  
  
Crayak: No wonder I have such fine breath but am still bigger then a smal moon.  
  
K.A: Got you there.  
  
Crayak: But that was when I was small.  
  
K.A: You weighed 45,000 pounds at birth.  
  
Crayak: That's a little personal.  
  
K.A: And Dr Dre does not royal rumble.  
  
Crayak: He does in Detroit.  
  
K.A: And Eminem was the first raper to hit a millon records, not you.  
  
Crayak: I taught that punk all he knows. I made "The Real Slim Crayak" before his shady stuff.  
  
K.A: Areyou sure you took your medication.  
  
Crayak: It's true, look! (Starts rapping to the tune of "Real Slim Shady) Ya'll act like-  
  
K.A: I get the point, just stop the rap.  
  
Crayak: (Stops rap) I can also dance much better then him.  
  
K.A: I might believe that, since he dosen't even dance.   
  
Crayak: Well, If he did, I would dance better.  
  
K.A: And you are not the complete master of the Universe, Fafal is (Fafal appears).  
  
Fafal: That's right, and I'm going to break your face in for saying that.  
  
Crayak: Gilligan's Island's on.  
  
Fafal: Really!? Then I'll do it later. (Teleports back).  
  
Crayak: Listen, are you going to publish the book or not?  
  
K.A: No, espically since I already got the same Idea over and over again for the Drode Chronicles-  
  
Crayak: That doublecrossin son of a (Yells a really loud obscenity and erdicates several mountain ranges).  
  
K.A: Chee Chronicles, Pemalite Chronicles Howler Chronicles, Chapman Chronicles and guy named bob chronicles.  
  
Crayak: There wasan't a bob on the show or book.  
  
K.A: You know in epside three where all the freed controllers run around the Yeerk Pool?  
  
Crayak: I should have choreographed that scene and put in a bunch of fire and bikini models and a Wendy's.  
  
K.A: That would have used up all the budgets.  
  
Crayak: Stupid cheap sons of (Again curses and blows up Applegate's pool).  
  
K.A: You're paying for that (Crayak makes a pot of gold appear). Yes, that will do nicley. Any way, the third guy to the left of the rock formation bob clamied was his brother's father's best friend's dog's groomer's mexican's immagrant's police offical worker's mother's hippie nephew's lover's wife's aztec gardner's neighbor's roome mate.  
  
Crayak: And that means they have nothing in common.  
  
K.A: Except for the fact they're blood brothers, yes.  
  
Crayak: Where is Bob anyway? I want to laugh at him for being dumb.  
  
K.A: Too bad. I threw him in the crocodile pit, and that would make him dead now. (Flash scene down to K.A's basement's basement where the crocodile pit is).  
  
Bob: You crocodiles are pretty cool once I get to know you. Sure you bit of my leg and chewed on my stomach a little, but now we're freinds.  
  
Crocodile: Sorry about that, but we had to make the act look good.  
  
Bob: Understandable. Hey chee, what you in for?  
  
Chee: same as you. I tried to pitch a Chronicles that had a few similarties to Eminem and she threw me in here.  
  
Pemalite: I mean we're just trying to give the people what they want, but she has to be all I don't like rap about it.  
  
Howler: Yeah, what's up with that? First making our race become all lovley like just because we saw those 'were not really boyfriend and girlfriend but we are really and everyone knows it' kiss, and now this. The only cool people here are you crocs.  
  
Crocodile 2: Yeah, you guys are pretty tight.  
  
Crocodile 3: Except for that Chapman. What a stuck up loser. Glad I ate him.  
  
Chapman: (From inside croc's stomach) When I get out of here, I'm going to give you such a detention slip your head will spin (Croc brings out gastreic juices and digests Chapman).  
  
Crocodile: Mmmm... Vice Principlelly.  
  
Bob: Let's sing a song about peanuts. I'll start. (Note: I got this from a friend) I like peanut butter and jelly cause they're so buttery.  
  
Chee: It is not close and covery.  
  
Pemalite: It sticks to roof of my mouth.  
  
Howler: Isn't that what it's all about?  
  
Crocodile: I could have one right now.  
  
Crocodile 2: And a big fat cow.  
  
Crocodile 3 : And now for the chorus. (Goes back up to K.A's office).  
  
K.A: Yes sure, I tortured them good.  
  
Crayak: Forget the stupid chronicles, I'll just be on my way. (Teleports out).  
  
K.A: Womder what's his problem? (Meanwhile at Crayak's Secret hideout).  
  
Jake: Got any threes?  
  
Ellmist: Were playing chess.  
  
Jake: I mean the number three. they'll actually good to eat with Elmo bread (Shows Jake eating a three sandwitch with two Elmos as bread peices).  
  
Elmo: Elmo no like you. (Gets eaten).  
  
Ellmist: You know eating numbers makes you fat.  
  
Jake: I'm only having a couple... of sixes! (Tobias in Ellmist morph, Ax and Marco appear).  
  
Ax: I still want that candy you promised.  
  
Tobias: I'm working on it. Hey Ellmist, where is the nearest candy store that isn't closed.  
  
Ellmist: Why don't you use your magical nearly all powerful stuff to make on appear.  
  
Tobias: It's so simple, a Marco could have figured it out.  
  
Marco: Just get the candy okay? I need some sugar in my system.  
  
Tobias: Quote the Hawk... It shall be done. (makes candy store appear).  
  
Marco: "Quote The Hawk"?  
  
Tobias: We had to say it once.  
  
Jake: That's not fair, I want the power to make candy stores appear.  
  
Ellmist: That's okay, I- (Drode blasts off his arm).  
  
Drode: Not this time. Espically when you aim at my planet.  
  
Ellmist: I was going to say grow back body parts, not blow up planets. (Grows arm back and blow's up Drode's planet).  
  
Drode: Oh well, I'll just make it come back. (Tries but fails). Why isn't it working.  
  
Ellmist: maybe you forgot how to bring back planets.  
  
Drode: That's not it.  
  
Tobias: It must be the ghost of the ghost of... (Dramtic music) a ghost!  
  
Marco: You mean casper type ghost, or a six sense type ghost.  
  
Tobias: I have no idea.  
  
Ax: Maybe it was the ghost of Elfangor.  
  
Drode: The trumpet player?  
  
Ax: The one who is my brother and Tobias' father.  
  
Ellmist: But Tobias, I am your father!  
  
Tobias: Would you stop it with that? (Elfangor and Loren appear) Well, look who it is, my REAL father.  
  
Ellmist: Just what are you implying?  
  
Elfangor: Yes, it is me.  
  
Marco: Aren't you suppose to be dead?  
  
Loren: Aren't you suppose to be dead, twice?  
  
Marco: Tousche, but I was... stuff.  
  
Tobias: So really, how did you come back?  
  
Elfangor: To tell the truth, i faked my death to get a chronicle out of it. (Crayak appears).  
  
Ellmist: Speaking of Chronicles, how did the book deal go?  
  
Crayak: Well, she liked my idea so much, its going to become a series with a T.V show and a movie deal and-  
  
Ellmist: Stop kidding yourself.  
  
Crayak: Yeah, well it's not like I'm the only one without a chronicle here.  
  
Drode: Just drop it master, before you embarrass yourself.  
  
Crayak: I'm serious. Everyone raise your hand if you have a chronicle. (Everyone raises their hand, marco raises both of his).  
  
Marco: I have two.  
  
Crayak: Then how come it's not in stores?  
  
Marco: That' cause there is only one copy.  
  
Crayak: Then everyone raise your hand if you have it mass produced (Everyone but Elfangor and the Ellmist lower their hand). Fire wave! (Burns Drode).  
  
Drode: What I do now?  
  
Crayak: That was for going behind my back and trying to pitch a book.  
  
Drode: Well...that...was Rachel's fault.  
  
Crayak: Rachel isn't even here. (Drode telaports Rachel here).   
  
Rachel: Now maybe someone will listen to me.  
  
Crayak: What?  
  
Rachel: This isn't funny.  
  
Drode: What?  
  
Rachel: Does anyone hear me?  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Rachel: Where is the nearset br- never mind, I'll find it myself. (Jumps of hideout and into deep space).  
  
Crayak: That was odd.  
  
Tobias: Very. Wait a minute! Dad, Mom, you faked death just to get a stupid book.  
  
Elfangor: Pretty much.  
  
Loren: That dosen't mean we don't love you.  
  
Tobias: Mom, Dad, not in front of the guys.  
  
Loren: Those are guys?  
  
Tobias: Yeah... well most are, I think.  
  
Ax: I am male.  
  
Jake: I already said it in the Begginning.  
  
Tobias: I'm a guy.  
  
Marco: Well, letme check. (Starts to take off pants).  
  
Crayak: Please don't... check later, when were not around.  
  
Marco: Well, just close your eyes and let me-  
  
Everyone: No!  
  
Marco: But-  
  
Everyone: Just put your pants on!  
  
Marco: Well maybe if you took yours off... (Everyone beats on him) Just a suggestion.  
  
Everyone: Just do it!  
  
Marco: Fine, fine. (Puts his pants on). It's not like you guys were going to look or anything.  
  
Drode: Well techinaclly, I'm a wild card, so it's hard to tell.  
  
Crayak: I'm man, but Ellmist isn't.  
  
Ellmist: Am so.  
  
Crayak: You partly aren't, since you absorbed some girls into your brain.  
  
Ellmist: I really should of asked for the version of the Ellmist Chronicle where I was a rap star.  
  
Crayak: Everyone tried that, but no one succeeded. (Eminem teleports in).  
  
Eminem: Not quite homies.  
  
Drode: Everyone knows Eminem has no chronicles.  
  
Eminem: It's called my autobiography. Here you go. (Hands them book, teleports out).  
  
Jake: Well wasan't he pleasent?  
  
Tobias: Odd, since he dosen't act like that in his videos.  
  
Ax: Look here! It says here his favorite color is amngo orange.  
  
Loren: Yeah, and so what?  
  
Ax: Well if you'd stop being such an evil aunt, you'd realize that the Ax Chronicles is on its way.  
  
Tobias: You lost me Ax, but then again no one really gets waht you are saying.  
  
Ax: If I can get Eminem to sign this page of his Autobiography with his South Amerian pencil, I will rule the world and make K.A give me my own Chronicles. Then I'll be the most famous rap star ever!  
  
Jake: That could work except it's my plan cause I am- (Everyone ties him to a chair and throws the cahir on the floor).  
  
Marco: This would be the perfect time for you to shut up! (Everyone teleports out of the hideout).  
  
Jake: Why can't I have magic powers and do stuff like that?  
  
Ellmist: (Teleports back in) That's okay, I forgot- (Elfangor grabs him and they re teleport out).  
  
Jake: Oh, man!(Announcer comes on).  
  
Announcer: Will Jake ever be able to do something cool? How about Ax's plan to become a famous rapper? And will I ever tell you anything useful? Tune in for-  
  
Me: Not yet, buddy! (Whacks the narrator Unconcious) And now back to the fanfic. (Scene: At Eminem's house, we find the rapper palying a quiet game of throw the broken record at an old music star who's never going to make it again).  
  
Eminem: Will you hold still while I throw this at you? (Throws record).  
  
Vanilla Ice: No (Dodges) Until I (Dodges) Get a new hit! (Gets hit and falls to the ground).  
  
Eminem: Well, you wanted a hit. (Laughs to himself). Haha, I have such clever wit, ain't that the truth?  
  
Eminem's Butlor: (Enters room) Sir, some people are here to see you?  
  
Eminem: Is MTV ready to review my crib?  
  
Eminem's Butlor: Actually sir, its the cast of the Animorphs book series. (They enter and make the butlor crash into the wall).  
  
Eminem: So, what's up?  
  
Ax: Listen Eminem, you need to sign this page of your book.  
  
Eminem: Why, just so you can become the best rapist ever?  
  
Ax: Well, duh.  
  
Eminem: That won't work, because I don't have my South American Pencil with me.  
  
Tobias: I knew it wouldn't work.  
  
Ax: Shut up you double nothlit.  
  
Tobias: Actually in this form, I can change my body into anything, so you're wrong.  
  
Marco: Let's trash the place! (Everyone agrees and goes to Marco's house and wrecks it). I meant hisn house.  
  
Ellmist: Yeah, well since your dead to the world, it dosen't really matter.  
  
Crayak: Look what I found! (Holds them up). A pair on Marco's Mom's bra's and double D cup bras.  
  
Marco: Time to chase you around. (Chases Crayak around).  
  
Drode: Sir, Why don't you just blast him.  
  
Crayak: I'm having too much fun! Whee, can't catch me!  
  
Drode: I thought I hated life, now I'm just confused by it.  
  
The End  
  
Remember to read and Review. 


	2. Special Guests

Special Guests: Here are a bunch of people who will be in the sequals. Back Street Boys, Britney Spears, Al Gore, Thomas The Tank Engine, Little Dipper, Dr.Dre, Sisqo, The cast of Survivor, The Mole and Insane Clown Passie. 


End file.
